What is Failure? ... The most Undesired but very much Required.

Ever heard people saying this:

"I don't a want to get failed at something or labeled as failure at something so that's why I don't want to try things which I don't feel, as per my expertise, will give me success."

OR

"So many times I tried, so many things I did but of no use I failed in so many times even I can't remember. I feel now that I can't be successful in anything."

Call it whatever like: Fear of Failure or depression after failures. 

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Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor for lack of ideas. Disney also went bankrupt several times before he built Disneyland.

Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four years old and didn't read until he was seven. His teacher described him as "mentally slow, unsociable and adrift forever in his foolish dreams." This was the person who went on to give world the theory of relativity, went on to win the Nobel prize in physics.

J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter novels was waitress...The book was rejected by a dozen publishers. The only reason it got published at all was because the CEO's eight year old daughter begged him to publish it.

Thomas Edison's teacher said he was "too stupid to learn anything." He was fired from his first two jobs for being "non-productive." As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. 

Henry Ford failed and went broke five times before he succeeded.

These are the live walking examples who have lived in between us so let's see what they felt about their failure or rounds of failures:

Henry Ford knew of failure so much so that he  quoted “Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.”

Einstein said "its not that I am so smart;it's just that I stay with problems longer" and "A person who never made mistakes never tried anything new."

When a reporter asked Thomas Edison, "How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?" Edison replied, "I didn't fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.

Did you notice what they said in what they experienced, they sticked on to their belief and goal to a much longer than what we do most of the times: we GIVE UP.
Either in the beginning or in the midst of the journey even some people don't even take the journey for the fear of failure.

To understand FAILURE better we have to understand it that what it really is:

a: Failure is part and parcel of the journey you take, it automatically says that you have started the journey. As if there is no trying, no journey, no pain hence no gain. In the words of . Think about it, we all long for an adventurous life, a life in which we should feel happiness, feel thrilled and get goose bumps; this is the reason why the adventure sports give us so much adrenaline rush or wherever we see people on TV or in movies we feel the same joy and the blood rush and lips stretch for a smile and heart beats surge and at that point in time we want to do the same to feel that again but for ourselves.
But What we do and the same result we get.

b: Without Failure the path of success will be a stupid one and without failure there will be no meaning of success.
Think this my brother wanted to build a company, he did it
my cousin wanted to win Olympic gold, he did it
my friend wanted to win soccer world cup as a team captain, he did it.
Everyone is getting successful like its just that tad easy, then who gives a damn which is easy.

c: Without Failure we will be having a lack of devotion, innovation, nobility, generosity, virtue, passion, hope and above all there shall be no real character of courage and resistance to reaction due  to frustration.

Watch closely: Had there been not that amount of failure in the life of Abraham Lincoln then the world wouldn't have seen that kind of leader who was, when he was in his last frame of seconds, his Secretary of War said "there lies the most perfect ruler of men that the world has ever seen."
This was the person who in his early days was a person who just not only criticised but also write letters and poems ridiculing people. He learned the hard way the richness of failures:

Failed in business at age 21.
Was defeated in a legislative race at age 22.
Failed again in business at age 24.
Overcame the death of his sweetheart at age 26.
Had a nervous breakdown at age 27.
Lost a congressional race at age 34.
Lost a congressional race at age 36.
Lost a senatorial race at age 45.
Failed in an effort to become vice-president at age 47.
Lost a senatorial race at age 47.
Was elected PRESIDENT of the United States at age 52

All these failures breaded in him Devotion and Hope for his goal, infused in him Nobility and Generosity and above all gave him a character whose courage was high as hill and seldom reacted from frustration.

Think Again Now The real Reasons of Failures....

Why we have to have Hope...?

Before taking this topic I had no idea what to write, this one word made me do a deep research on this topic, as HOPE and FAITH are very close to each other. And here now I am to give my readers a perfect example, an example of a living legend.

Louis Silvie "Louie" Zamperini   --- An Olympian who with his last minute speed took attention of Adolf Hitler. Had a record of a mile, held for fifteen years, earning him the nickname "Torrance Tornado".

He had to give up everything for the war, joined the Force till captured by Japanese and taken to Japan and tortured brutally and tormented far beyond human resistance. A place where he dreamt of getting a medal in Olympic. When all faiths of ever returning home were shattered of his fellow POW (Prisoners Of War) his light was still alive as he kept them distracted telling stories, he kept his HOPE alive and stood tall with his resilience. And finally the day arrived when they all were freed and returned home.

In January 1998, just before his 81st birthday, Zamperini ran a leg in the Olympic Torch relay for the Winter Olympics in Nagano, Japan.

This is HOPE, first his unquestionable feel of getting freedom and then the long awaited dream of being a part of Olympic in Japan. Sheer trust on his self-assurance about his feeling not anyone else.

That is how we should have hope in our feelings or in our mind as to what we want and have an unquestionable trust in it. There are people on whom we may put our faith upon and upon ourselves about some job to get done or to get us something out of all opposites but hope is far superior than that, it is based on no facts or person or any situation but just a very deeply required result with no strings attached as to how it shall be achieved or happen.

What is it when out of thousands cancer patients who survive miraculously, when a child breaks his/her piggy bank to help a big cause of the family, when an space probe or the telescope is established in space for other life forms, when uneducated parents make their child go to school for the future, its HOPE which keeps the pulse alive every time.

And the best example in INDIA is hoping for the wait listed ticket of a train to confirm at train charting.

What is LOVE???

LOVE…The Quintessential feeling

…LOVE… a special Feeling of ATTACHMENT, SUPPORT, FAITH, LOYALTY, COMPASSION, FONDNESS, DEPENDANCE and so and so forth. It has different Forms in different kinds of relationships i.e. love between PARENTS-KIDS, FRIENDS-FRIENDS, SOLDIER-SOLDIER/COUNTRY, PERSON-THING (SCIENCE, FOOD...etc.), PERSON-RELATIONS, PERSON-GOD…etc.. And above all the most talked and felt about is between MAN & WOMAN.

Most of other is well understood and followed and the place where people in masses feel and confuse is the last one the love between a MAN and a Woman, however there are some exclusions like WOMAN –WOMAN or MAN-MAN, so just lets focus upon a romantic love between PERSON-PERSON.

How/Why/Where/When/Whom…etc… are the questions always hits everyone’s head weather we are in teenage or in twenties or thirties…whatever… till we don’t have that perfect sync of emotions, feelings with another person and we often than never wander to find that special.

So are these feelings important? Is it really required to be in LOVE?

The Answer is YES!!! It’s very very important to be in Love in whatsoever form it may be or else we shall forever be a case of a very sharp arrow designed beautifully but without a bow. Love motivates us, secures us, cares us, support us… we being alive on this planet like other creatures need to be loved and love somebody to get these feelings to harmonize with ourselves. But first and the most important love is to love ourselves then only we be able to see love in the world around us or else everything will go and happen momentarily.

Sometimes it’s amazing to know it was Love which made the amazing Taj Mahal, it was love which finished unconquerable Troy, it is love of Meera-Krishna which makes us believe in selflessness and devotion, it’s love of Pierre and Marie Curie which made milestone discoveries in science…there are numerous other examples which show us the power of love of different forms.

Unfortunately, instead of ingredients of love people develop those attitudes which deter them from the path of love or hurt their love. So let’s analyze shortly the different steps:

a.       Eureka: We found someone whom you feel is the right one; the first thing will be to STOP!!! And think that have you really given time to the relationship so there is an understanding between two or there are things otherwise.

Now days we are so much surrounded by Romantic novels, movies and fantasy stories that we somehow become what we really aren’t but instead a thirsty person looking for water. Falling an easy prey to Fairy tale words like ‘Love at first sight’, ‘Prince on horse’, ‘Princess waiting to be awakened’ etc… forgetting the ground realities and the essence of love. However there are exceptions, it’s just like if a Hollywood star having six fingers in one hand doesn’t means that all such people will become one, although there is no denial in trying.

b.      Are you showing what you really are or you are Pretending someone which you actually aren’t, showing the perfect person the other person trying to see. PLEASE DON’T become a sheep when you are a lion from inside or vice versa as when the truth unfolds itself someday it will be a shocking to the other and to you too.

No one is perfect in this world not even Einstein was, every relation has a bit of sweetness, sourness, bitterness, spicy and a bland essence in it just like every meal has a bit of all. Even the different varying notes in a beautiful song also are a good example.

Enjoy and accept all the tastes or notes and then we shall be with happiness, with romance.

c.       Now the most important and hard to do thing…COMMITMENT… Why/How is it so tough to commit or the other way round what is commitment? When you both are in love first understand what you want in that relationship…A short term fling or a Lifetime of Togetherness. Be Honest with each other. We have to keep putting our effort into relationship in all circumstances to make it work, to keep the magic and faith alive or else any challenge in life in any form and we can get our love scattered like pearls from string. We have to keep our string, our love, strong enough so that any situation can be solved without EGO, accepting mistakes, speaking openly about feelings and challenges and positive points learned and let our faith grows like a tree withstands all the weathers but still stands tall. Embrace the negatives and focus on positives and make ourselves become better with each experience.

A Best Friend.

d.      We should never, never ever Force our Love and/or Manipulate it as per our desire or make them more perfect. We have to understand that people in love change themselves and become better and better for their loved ones, it doesn’t happen by manipulation. Manipulation by any means will bring just Fear, insecurity, distrust in a relationship and that that relationship doesn’t go far.

e.      We shouldn’t let things Stagnate and let it be a casual or take it for granted. However it is such a thing which slowly creeps in from backdoor and is often go unnoticed till a point where the other person starts searching something else in life, somewhere else.

Our love deserves to be known every time it is special and the life of our togetherness is also special and terrific. We should let go ourselves go wild, a sudden night out of a trip, buying a gift without an occasion, pursuing a new skill or experience like dance or trekking.

Keep the flame hot and keep it interesting and wild.

Above all we need to understand a fact that LOVE is feeling which can’t be bought or sold and imprisoned unlike physical need. We can’t force or prevent love. Love has no Boundaries, no Culture. However apart from all this love is such a force which can do certainly anything and without it we are lost souls.

Why Should we have FAITH???...FAITH - The unquestionable...

FAITH.....

Sometime back I had to take a flight for my tour. I took my ticket went inside of the airport..took my boarding pass gave my luggage, went through the security check and waited for the flight to be announced waiting on the couch, and when the announcement happened for my flight at the gate no 1. I stood up and went to the gate took the bus and after showing my boarding pass at the last check went inside the aircraft and took my seat. After a while the gates were closed and the pilot steered the aircraft and went to the take-off strip and made its thrust to the clouds and poof-ff I was in the air in no time, I took a look at my watch to calculate the time I will be landing at my destination, and went relaxed. I feel this is the way everyone travels.

Now let’s take one more look at the event, did I or any one reading this has ever inquired that who is riding the plane is there really a pilot or a monkey...is he drunk or not....does he has enough experience to fly...does he even know where he has to go...what if on asking him that will he make us land on the destination, he reply ' We will try to land on or around the destination.'

Just think for a second who will take his/her seat comfortably or even take a seat in that plane. But the weird truth is we all travel like this only and everyday make our decisions without cross-checking and it all happens because of FAITH. We put our trust or confidence on/in someone/something based on our experience/knowledge/Feel.

And for particular cases it just depends that how strong your faith is, like seeing your partner with someone and you stealthily watched and make a call to know what he shall say about where he is. You made a call...he picks it up...you asked him where he is...he says he is in office and call you back later...you slid the phone in your pocket and slowly moved away.

Now watch closely he came back in evening and kissed you...but you were very quiet in your reactions... and he spoke to you the very first sentence...'Hey sorry honey I lied to you in the afternoon, I was with a friend that time when you called, she is going through some tough times and didn't want to disclose things so she insisted to not tell you where we are'.

This is ridiculous right she could have chosen to go upfront and catch him red-handed telling lie but she instead took a leap of FAITH as per her experience/knowledge/Feel for him and kept quiet. We can’t trust someone who is not reliable.

FAITH on each other is driving and running the society in various forms like faith in justice, truth, relations, friends, system..etc...and the biggest of them all is we will wake up tomorrow morning while closing our eyes at night and at the barber shop when handing over our neck to him. There has to be someone to put faith onto, we can’t put our faith on someone who is not there.

But Faith should not be blind as blind faith is useless like faith in a Tiger that it shall not pounce on you when you enter its cage.

what is the effect of Appreciation? ... The most desired but not fetched

There was a family a Dad, a Mom and a son. Living a good life. Everything was in routine for all of them. One day when the Dad returns home in the evening pushed the bell button, no one opened the door, he waited for a minute then rang the bell again then some more minutes passed. Finally after 5 mins of wait his son opened the door. The dad entered the apartment demanding what took so long to open the door. The dad then went to the sofa sat there for a while then in disgust shouts when the water will be delivered is she, her wife, forgetting everything. His son then brings the glass of water. The dad then moves to the washroom to freshen up. Again after a few minutes the dad shouts from the washroom to his wife is she nuts today as there was no towel in the washroom. The son then slowly being the towel to him. The dad was furious like a lion by this time. He took the towel and changed his clothes and then moved the living room again, sat on the sofa, looking at him anyone would tell not to talk with him at this moment. After half an hour the wife brings tea and snacks to the table where the dad was sitting and the son sat next to his dad. The dad was boiling with anger as this is first time the tea took so much time to come to the table. He kept gazing his wife in anger and burst out saying is this what's our discipline and routine teaches us to be like, hasn't she understood in all these years what are his needs at what time. Looks like all the years are wasted. The son then smiled a bit and asked "dad for so many years mom is keeping your routine, requirements and much more intact and kept you going. Did at any time you mention her that how thankful, grateful you are to her. Did you ever appreciated her for her hard work, love and submission. And here one small frame of time made you feel how important she is if she is not what she is."
Then there was this pin drop silence and the dad was just kept looking his child and wife.

Isn't it's true with our nature, this is what is happening in our daily lives when we take people around us for granted and don't bother to tell them how special they are or what they do doesn't matter whether it's a Peon or a Maid or a Junior or a Colleague or the above all of all our own wife. We need small or big efforts, whether it's in a year or week or in a month or in a day, of countless people to make our every second going and yet they go unrecognised.

We in turn also need a feed of appreciation to grow, to feel noticed or to get respect for our feelings when we care. Without this special thing we will be like robots or a system running on programme rather than human beings who have feelings.

Appreciation is the key with which we can touch people's heart, make them feel special for their dedication in whatever small way it could be so that this small seed can develop into a big tree and help us enjoy it's shadow when we need it.

What is FEAR ???

FEAR, what is it? Is it good or its absence is good ?

An emotion or feeling which makes any living creature feel scared because of some threat or a danger whether involving life, future or for above all survival.

Fear is good and it is also required as it pushes us to move us to another level of awareness, advancement. Evolve ourselves to become better equipped with ideas and tools. Had there been no fear of darkness there wouldn't have been the great discovery of light through stones and tools from it to protect ourselves. Had there been no fear of hunger we wouldn't have learnt the lessons of farming, hunting. To me fear is required for us to be better at what we do best and think of new ideas to get what we don't have now.
In a way fear is good for progress.

BUT when it transforms into Worry of future, life or of tomorrow it crushes mind and your reaction to situations. It sows that level of insecurity in our brain in which we stop loving in the present and start brooding about the future. We live in distress and put our loved ones in stress. Always thinking of what's next, which hasn't happened yet but will happen in your brain a thousand times in different order.
Imagination of brain has no boundaries and with that our boundary of worry it will break into insanity and give you an obscure response to people or situations.

Take this, right now you might be reading this article on your mobile or on your laptop now let's go to that insane behaviour. What are the chances that you might get hurt, badly.
Oh my God! They're  huge. My mobile battery could burst anytime, what if the screen suddenly stops and the chipset is gone, what if this or what if that happens. I will be left with pain, hurt and remorse. Let's just stop using mobile, hmmm that's a good idea, no mobile no pain no remorse. YES!

Now just stop a second and think is this the way of life.

What is FRUSTRATION ???

Hi friends I got an e-mail asking what is Frustration and wheather Frustration and Anger are similar.
So here is what I feel for it.

Frustration: Lets see its other states in which they affect us, they are disappointment, despair, hopelessness, discouragement, depression. But the real question is how does it find its way into our mind which sets our emotion/feeling.

Let's take an example, say if I give you an orange seed and ask it to plant it, what shall you do? 

You will take up the seed, prepare the soil with some manure and sow the seed in it, water it everyday with a hope that in few days it will sprout with some leaves. Everyday in the morning you water it and feel for it that okay tomorrow it shall bloom up.

5 days have passed and there is no result, you'll feel okay it's just 5 days what happens in that lets wait for some more time and went ahead. 5 more days have passed and still no result and you are now in a thinking mode "is it aright means is the seed rightly placed hmmm... Let's wait for some more time". 

10 more days have passed and here you are again with no result. Probably now you are thinking that what's wrong with it, are things really working, should I dig in and unearth what's going on or should I just watch it like a fool, somehow you managed to convince yourself to wait do some more days. 10 more days have passed and you are now out of your mind thinking I( the seed giver) am probably be the stupid out of us.

Now after this long time I gave you a call to find out whats is the progress and you got a chance to shower your rebuke. After you are empty with the whole story and emotions and explaining my stupidity I asked a question " Did you peel of the thin skin of the seed before sowing?".

Now you are astounded, surprised and said "What"?

Now here could you see the array of emotions:

OBEDIENCE, HOPE, DOUBT, DISAPPOINTMENT, HOPELESSNESS, DEPRESSION, ANGER.

That's how Mr. Frustration affect us, it first kills our hope and leave us with its sisters Disappointment and Hopelessness which eventually leads us to the Divorce of Anger and we get finished.

So here we see Anger is not frustration but it's a byproduct of it.